day count day 1 sat 3/27 blogging transgressions

March 28, 2010 at 7:29 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

today – brutalized self by sitting there beating and driving self to go to store and break fast when NOT OK WITH ME.

NOT OK WITH ME NOT OK WITH ME NOT OK WITH ME

SElfhelp session for becoming willing to fast longer : turns up the idea taht YOU CAN GET USED TO ANYTHING

and

YOU CAN CHANGE GRADUALLY

and

YES I CAN BE POSITIVE AND STOP GETTING HIGH ON FOOD AND GET THE LIEF I DESERVE

In this day count the required actions are not only lengthen fasts and do 400 acc max and do 2 h pre 100 cals but also do mental work and really truly become willing to FAST LLONGER EACH TIME and DO TIT ORGANICALLY and rreally really get willing truly willing.

I have to try and fast again soon.  i dont feel trylu wlling and have to work myself into willingnesss.  HOW?????????????

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